All My Darkest Impulses (House of Crows) by Lisa Unger

Author:Lisa Unger [Unger, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-05-26T16:00:00+00:00

“What were you thinking, Claire?” asked Martin outside. Will stood behind her, a bolstering hand on her shoulder.

“I was thinking about Billy. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“Neither do you,” Martin said. He had a kind face, warm eyes—not very lawyerly. He was more fatherly, which was why she liked him. She never knew her own father, but if she had, she’d want him to look at her just like that. “If they question your behavior, you could be in danger of losing your license to practice.”

“That figures. I’m viciously attacked by a convicted serial killer, nearly killed, and I, and the man who defended me, are the ones in trouble.”

Will put an arm around her, and she fought the urge to push him away; he crowded her. That was one of the things that had bothered her most. He hovered. She was cold, withholding—that was his complaint during their marriage. You’re always shutting me out.

“It’s not fair; you’re right,” said Martin. “And if you cooperate with me, I can get you through this, and you’ll be back with your patients when you’re well.” He always sounded so sure of himself. His suits were impeccable and his cologne smelled like money.

It doesn’t matter, whispered Archie. You’re done with all of this.

“It doesn’t matter,” said Claire. Her own voice sounded distant and far away.

Will and Martin exchanged a look of concern, which she pretended not to notice.

“Let’s get you home,” said Will.

“I’ll make some calls and we’ll regroup tomorrow, okay, Claire?” Martin’s voice had taken on the softness people use with children and the mentally ill.

“Yes, of course.”

Back at her house, Will made some tea and brought it to her where she sat on the window seat in the living room. They’d bought this house together when they were just married, in love. Although, maybe she’d never really loved him. Not as she should. He was just the first safe place she’d found. He was strong and solid, predictable and upright. All the things she’d loved at first later bored her to tears.

He’d let her have the house. In fact, he’d given her everything she’d wanted—money wasn’t an issue for Will, or for her—and let her go without a fight. I love you, he’d told her. But I won’t beg you to love me back.

“Talk to me,” he said now. “Tell me where you’re at.”

Get rid of him, said Archie.

“I’m okay,” she said. She tried for a smile, the muscles of her face aching. “Really. I just need some sleep.”

“You don’t seem like—yourself, Claire. I mean, I know you’ve been through a horrific trauma. But—”

He doesn’t know you, whispered Archie. I’m the only one who really knows you.

“I just need the time and space to heal. You’re right; I’m not myself. I’m probably not going to be the person I was before. I’m working toward the new normal.”

Will nodded vigorously, hands folded. “I want to be here for you.”

“You are. You have been. Thank you.”

She knew the words sounded cool, dismissive. Will pressed his full lips into a disappointed line.

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